Humorous Romance
by SlytherinMax
Summary: Lots of little drabbles that come to my brain! Mainly SeverusHarry. I'll do any other yaoi pairing as well!  Just ask!
1. Too Much Information

**_Max: IT'S ANOTHER ONE!! OO Well, really, it's one of a whole series of short little drabbles that come to my brain! OO I might be able to get my bf to write a couple... Lovies dears! Please read and review!_**

**_Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN! I WISH I DID!_**

**_WARNING!!: YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI!! I say it enough yet? And um... It all depends on what the topic is so I shall put a warning in each one._**

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**_To Much Information_**

Harry ran hurriedly into the Potions classroom, slamming open the doors and interrupting Severus' lesson. He ran to the front of the room where the older man was standing, grabbed him by the sleeve of his robes and dragged him into Severus' private lab in the back of the room, "Severus! What the hell is this you cheating bastard?!" he screamed.

Severus looked calmly down at his young lover and then at the notes that where grasped angrily in his hand, "It appears to be a few love letters you have taken from the locked draw of my desk."

Harry blinked in surprise then regained his composure, "Yes. Well, why the hell have you been writing love letters to that murderer?!"

"I have not been writing love letters to him Harry. He has been writing to me. Harry, just because I receive them doesn't mean I am going to answer them." Severus explained calmly, sitting himself down at his desk.

Harry sat on Severus' lap and wrapped his arms around the mans neck, "You promise?" Severus nodded, "So you aren't cheating on me with Lucius Malfoy? " Severus nodded again, "You aren't going to leave me and go do all those kinky things he mentioned in the letters with him?" Severus raised an eyebrow and then nodded.

"Harry, the only person I'd ever want to do such kinky things to, as you so eloquently put it, is you. The thought of doing any such thing with that man makes me physically sick." Severus grimaced, looking Harry in the eyes.

"But you did stuff like that with him when you where in school." Harry argued a pout on his face.

Severus smirked evilly, "Yes. And I also did those things with your father."

Harry looked as if he was going to vomit, "Really Severus. I did NOT need to know that."

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**_Max: I HOPE YOU LIKED! PLEASE REVIEW! _**

**_Lovies,_**

**_Mew Max_**

**_AKA: SlytherinMax (Vampy-Kitty-Snake Hybrid)_**


	2. Surprises

**_Max: HELLO AGAIN LOVIES!! I HAVE UPDATED!! YAY!!! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!! LOVE YOU!!_**

**_Disclaimer: DON'T OWN! Sadly..._**

**_WARNING: YAOI YAOI!!! SEVERUS/HARRY/DRACO!!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK DAMN IT!!!_**

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**_Surprises_**

Draco was walking down the long hallway leading to his bedroom. He knew his lovers, well, more accurately, his fiancées, where waiting for him.

'Well,' he thought, 'I hope they are waiting for me. Doesn't make much difference either way… But it would be nice if they waited just once.'

He heard some rather odd noises coming from his father's room as he passed, so he opened the door. Immediately closing it afterwards.

"That," he mumbled, "Was highly unlikely and very disturbing…"

When he reached his room he opened the door very slowly, smiling when he spotted his lovers on their bed, 'Of course. They didn't wait for me.'

Draco walked over and sat at his desk chair, turning it to face the bed. Oh how he would love to join!

Harry was on his hands and knees with Severus behind him, thrusting in and out hard and fast, making Harry scream in pleasure. Severus was leaned over Harry's back, nipping and licking at his soft flesh.

"S-Severus…" Harry moaned, attempting to begin a sentence, "W-we s-should wait for DraAH! We should wait for Draco…"

Severus merely grunted and continued his ministrations, "Its fine… When he gets here… He'll join us… If he wants to."

Draco was VERY tempted to join them, but every time he got up to do so, an image of what he witnessed in his fathers room appears and he sits himself back down. He didn't wait to long, as Severus and Harry quickly climaxed, calling the others name. When the two finally caught their breathing, Draco decided to speak, "Hello loves."

Harry nearly fell out of the bed as he looked over to the desk and saw Draco rising to his feet to sit on the side of the bed, "Draco! You scared me you bloody idiot! How long have you been there?!"

Severus chuckled when Draco smirked evilly, "I take you have been sitting there for a few minutes love?"

Draco nodded, "About the time Harry said you should wait for me."

Harry pouted, "If you where there why didn't you join us?!" He was angry now; Draco was being so mean to him!

Draco cringed, "Well, I sort of saw something VERY disturbing before I got here. I can't seem to get the image out of my head."

Severus was rather curious now, "What was it Draco? What could frighten you so much you couldn't join us?"

"I saw my father. With Harry's godfather. You know… I never took my father for a submissive one… And I never could have imagined anyone to be able to bend that way either… Oh… Now I'm going to hurl!" Draco complained, Harry and Severus both cringing at the mental images.

"WAH! MY POOR DRAY-DRAY!" Harry cried, wrapping his arms around Draco's neck and pulling him close.

"By the way, Severus. I never took you for one to allow anyone to shove a vibrator up your arse." Draco smiled mischievously at the bright red blush staining both Severus' and Harry's cheeks. Yes. Draco had finally won. Now he had something to hold against Severus if he ever made him angry.

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**_Max: Hope you liked it! PLEASE REVIEW!! I think it's longer then the last one... OO (Huggles all) SEVVY/HARRY KISSY PLUSHIES ALL AROUND! (Throws them in the air) (Clings to his giant life-sized Sevvy-baby plushie) Lovies dears!_**

**_Lovies,_**

**_Mew Max_**


	3. Cruelty

**_Max: I'm back! 3 It's another one! OH MY! O.O YAY!!! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! 3_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own._**

**_Warning: YAOI YAOI YAOI!! Severus/Harry. Hints of Lucius/Draco and Lucius/Draco/Harry/Severus _**

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**_Cruelty_**

Harry was sitting quietly in Potions class, listening intently to Severus drone on and on about some new potion they were to brew, when a note landed on the table in front of him. He looked over in the direction the note came from and noticed Draco smirking at him and waving lightly. Harry looked back down to the note, about to read it.

Before Harry could open the note, he found Severus looming over him cruelly, "Not paying attention in class again Potter? Would you so kindly read the note? To the class." He added the last bit gleefully.

Harry gulped, a bit frightened of what the note might say. Though, he **COULD** lie about what it said and embarrass Draco. So, being Harry Potter, he decided to… bend the truth. Opening the letter, being sure not to let Severus' peering eyes see the note, he began to read, "Potter, I know you have a crush on Professor Snape. I don't blame you one bit. He's pretty hot for a teacher. –Draco"

Draco shot up out of his chair angrily, a blush marring his perfect features at all the laughs echoing around him, "That is **NOT** what it says Potter!"

Severus' eyes widened momentarily before glaring over at Draco, "I am taking 15 points from Slytherin, for such crude humor." He then looked back at Harry, "And 5 points to Gryffindor for obeying an order."

Severus then walked back up to the front of the room, taking pleasure in the loud groans of disapproval coming from his house.

When class was over, Harry stayed behind. He made sure all of the students where gone before walking up to Severus' desk and sat himself atop it. Severus wrapping his arms loosely around the boy's waist.

"Now tell me Harry, what was really on that note? I know you were lying to me." Severus mumbled, his face buried in Harry's neck, nipping at it.

Harry chuckled darkly, "You knew and you still took points. From your own house no less!"

"Just tell me what was in the note Harry." Severus growled.

"Fine, fine." Harry rolled his eyes, "He said that he knows about us and wants us to join him and his father for dinner next weekend. I think it's a good idea."

Severus sat up straight, looking into Harry's eyes, "Harry, I do **NOT** think it a very wise idea. Knowing Draco and his father, dinner is not all they want."

Harry smiled a most sinister smile, leaning forward he whispered menacingly into Severus' ear, "I know, my dear Severus. We could use a bit of… variety in our relationship. What better way then to play with your best friend and his son."

Severus shivered in pleasure then smirked, "I seem to be rubbing off on you Harry. I must say, cruelty seems to be rather interesting on you."

"Hm." Harry grinned, "Rubbing off on me? That reminds me, weren't we about to play? I believe you had a few new items in your chambers we could play with. Come along now."

'Yes.' Severus thought, 'Cruelty really does suit him best.'

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Max: I hope you like it! Please review! I may not update my stories for awhile, my sister has just had a miscarriage. I'll do my best though! I promise! 3 (Huggles all)

Lovies,

Mew Max


	4. Eradication of Innocence

**Max: Finally I update the little drabbles! XD THIS TIME IT'S NOT SNARRY! O.O IT'S VOLARRY! XD PLEASE READ AND REVIEW: )**

**Warning: Tom(Voldemort)/Harry, Mentions of Lucious/Severus. YAOI YAOI YAOI YAOI!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Sorta wish I did.**

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Readers of the Daily Prophet- 

My mind was buzzing as I walked out of my now empty apartment. I couldn't believe it; I had actually gotten a new house. It took me two weeks to get all of my stuff completely moved. Driving from Surrey to London every day, the back of my car completely filled with boxes. It gave me a rush though, actually having something to do instead of being the little Golden Boy like I was in school, having to fight that ugly monster, _"Voldemort"_.It's amazing how dull everything can become when your mind isn't focused on one major obstacle.

Well, now I can live happily with my wonderful boyfriend. Even though it's been four years since I finished school and killed _"Voldemort"_, no one seems to want to accept my relationship with Tom. I understand that they think he's evil:

"B-But that's V… You-Know-Who! You traitor!" or "Harry, I think you've finally lost your mind. How could that… **MONSTER** _ever_ be good?!" or perhaps my favorite, "Don't tell me, you're a murderer now to aren't you Harry?!"

Oh yes, I enjoy torturing innocent people to death. How stupid can you be?! Tom is not evil. Has no one ever thought that Tom wasn't himself? That he was being controlled as well as all those idiotic Death Eaters? Well, that's not really true. Tom can be quite evil if he wants to be. But he's not as bad as every one makes him out to be. He does have a rather soft side. It's just; no one has ever tried to understand him.

There is no such thing as good and evil. It's all just a perception, an opinion, an illusion, whatever you want to call it. But it's not real. Everyone is born to have different views on right and wrong. Tom was merely raised to believe that there was no wrong when you had a dream to accomplish. What gives anyone the right to judge people in such a manner?

Whatever, I've made my point. _**TOM IS NOT EVIL!**_

_**-Harry James Potter**_

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Tom snuck up behind his boyfriend silently. Bending down he whispered in the young mans ear, "What are you doing Potter?"

Harry jumped slightly but disregarded it as he looked up at Tom, "Oh nothing. Just getting rid of a few rumors. How was your day? Find any new toys to play with?"

Tom looked thoughtful for a moment before answering, "My day was mostly uneventful. I did, however, find where they locked up Lucius and Snape. I set them up in the guest bedroom. I'll warn you now not to enter that room until I thoroughly disinfect it." he shuddered slightly, "I don't even want to enter that room."

"You are such a wuss Tom! I'm sure we've done worse then what ever their feeble little minds can think of." Harry retorted, "Besides, don't you remember last night? **SOMEONE** destroyed our bedroom so we had to go in there."

"Oh yes." Tom chuckled, "I remember that quite well."

Harry rolled his eyes and focused them back on his laptop screen, "Don't we have somewhere to be tomorrow?"

"Yes. We need to go back to Surrey tomorrow. Bring whatever you might need. I don't expect it to take to long, but you never know." Tom answered lightly.

"How long does it usually take to blow up a measly little city Tom? 10 minutes?" Harry rolled his eyes, exasperated.

"Are you not going to play with them before we kill them?" Tom chuckled darkly.

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_**P.S.:**_ There is no such thing as an innocent person. Be warned, you never know when it will be your turn to perish in the flames of hell.

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**Max: Hehehe! I hope you like it: ) I wrote it all at 4am... O.O Couldn't sleep! XD lol PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

**Mew Max**


	5. Harmful To Your Health

**_Max: HEY-LO!! Hows ya been lovies?! I know I haven't updated any of my stories in awhile! My laptop broke and I don't really like gettin on the desktop computer so I try ta use y mummies laptop. Very hard to get it when no one else is on it... Bah! Read and review huns!_**

**_Warnin: MPREG!.!.!.!.! SEVVY/HARRY!.!.!.!_**

**_Disclaimer: Nope... I still don't own nuthin..._**

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**_Harmful To Your Health_**

"SEVERUS!!" Harry screamed loudly, his voice bouncing off the walls in the house he shares with his husband, "SEVERUS! YOU ANSWER ME NOW YOU GREASY OLD GIT!"

Severus was sitting in his private potions lab in the basement of the house, working on a very long list of potions Madame Pomfrey needed for the coming school year, What do you need Harry?!" he called exasperatedly.

"You get you arse up here this instant you lazy bastard! Or I'll kill you!"

Now, Harry wasn't really angry at Severus, he was just in a very large amount of pain and it was only getting worse. He had told his husband just a few weeks ago that he was pregnant. And, of course, he was using a glamour spell so Severus couldn't tell just how far along he was, but, now he would definitely know.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes Harry! If I don't finish this potion up, the whole batch will be ruined!" Severus called back, continuing to stir the potion and add in the final ingredients when needed.

"If you don't get up here right now, I am going to have this baby right here in the middle of our bed! Now get up here and take me to the hospital or I will leave you as soon as this child is born!" Harry was becoming very angry now, he didn't want to be, he just was.

'Wait a second.' Severus thought, 'Baby? Now? Oh no!' "Hold on! I'll be right up Harry!!"

"Severus… You know I love you right?" Harry whispered quietly, his newborn son held tightly in his arms.

Severus smiled, "I know love. I love you as well. But the next time you threaten to castrate me, I'm leaving."

The both of them chuckled quietly, "Of course you will you greasy old git. You'd be back after 5 minutes begging me to let you back in the house." Harry grinned evilly, a sadistic glint in his eyes, "But I will warn you, do NOT attempt to get me pregnant again. It would be very harmful to your health."

Severus merely nodded in agreement.

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**_Max: Please review dears! I promise I'll love ya! XD I know this chappie sucked but, I wrote it in the middle of the day and I can never write then. The only good stories I have were all written at like, 2am... XD_**

**_Lovies,_**

**_Mew Max_**


	6. Learning A Lesson

_**Max:** Ok, so as soon as I finished with the prologue of that Gravi story, this idea popped in my head. YAY FOR UPDATES! lol Alright! Please read and review darlings!_

_**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Harry Potter. Just this little plot bunny!_

_**Warning:** YAOI! MPREG! SEVERUS/HARRY! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!_

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**_Learning A Lesson_**

Cringing from the sudden pain in his back, Severus stood from his seat next to his husband. He had been feeling rather ill for the past few weeks, and he seemed to be gaining a bit of weight because of it as well. He walked silently into the bathroom to get the pain relief potion he had brewed the first time his back began to hurt. Downing the small amount of potion, he rinsed out the vial before placing it back into the cabinet. He looked at himself in the mirror before removing his robes and stepping into the shower. Turning on the warm water and placing the plug in the drain, he sat himself down and relaxed.

When he reemerged from the bathroom, a large towel wrapped around his waist, he was met by his slightly curious husband, "Harry, would you please move so I can go put some clothes on?"

Harry simply shook his head before speaking, "You're getting sick aren't you?" he smirked, knowing full well what was going on. It was his fault after all. He just wanted to teach his idiotic husband a lesson about a certain subject.

"No." Severus replied sarcastically, "I simply force myself to throw up each morning to keep thin. Of course I'm sick you dunderhead. Now move out of my way so I may get some clothes on. I'm beginning to freeze." He really was not happy being questioned by Harry. The meddling little brat was probably the cause of his illness.

It was Harry's turn to be sarcastic now, his lips still curled up in a slightly sadistic smirk, "Really? I think your methods aren't working. You've gained quite a bit of weight. Look at this fat gut." He laughed as he poked Severus in the stomach, making the taller man cringe.

Severus closed his eyes momentarily so as not to harm his young lover. When he opened them, he finally noticed the smug smirk on the young mans face, "What in Merlin's name did you do to me Potter?"

Harry muttered a small spell and a moment later, Severus was completely clothed, the large towel pooled around his feet. When Harry finally answered, there was a slight hint of malice in his words, "I'll give you a hint. After 6 more months of complete and utter torture on your part, our dear son will have a new companion." Then he walked away, a delighted grin on his face.

Wide eyes and a gaping mouth really did not suit the taller man, Harry mused. But at least now he would have another child and Severus would learn his lesson about making fun of his pregnant husband.

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_**Max:** I hope you liked that short little drabble dears! Please review! (Hugs)_

_Lovies,_

_Mew Max (AKA: Mr. Max)_


	7. Who's Better?

_**Max:** I was requested to write a Draco/Harry drabble by Rika'sGrayWolf, so here it is! I hope you like it hun! Now then, I may not be updating any of my stories for awhile. I'm having a really hard time in real life right now. My boyfriend just broke up with me. I suppose it was partially my fault. But he needn't call me a worthless bitch. Anyway! Enough of my ramblings! I hope you like it dears! Please read and review!_

_**Warning:** Draco/Harry Mentions of Severus/Harry, Lucius/Severus, and Severus/James_

_**Disclaimer:** I still do not own Harry Potter. This shall be the last time I include a disclaimer in this 'story'. So from now on, I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!_

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**_Who's Better?_**

"Dray, stop it! What if your father sees us?! You will get in trouble!" Harry moaned into his lovers lips. Draco was doing the most wonderful things to him, in the worst place imaginable! If Lucius found out, they were so dead! And Severus! Severus would be outraged! But, oh! It was so wonderful, "Dray really! Severus is here tonight! If he catches me with you, he'll kill me!"

Draco rolled his eyes tiredly. This really was becoming quite the nuisance, "Harry, like I have told you many times since we began this affair: divorce that prick! He's no good for you! And he's probably sleeping with my father. Which one of us do you pick? That old git who is nearly twice your age and treats you horribly, or me, the one who treats you like a king, and makes you feel good." Draco emphasized his point by nipping at a particularly sensitive spot on Harry's neck, making the other moan quite loudly.

Harry couldn't gather his mind enough to answer the question verbally, so instead; he pulled at Draco's robes, letting the other know _exactly_ what he wanted. When he finally managed to speak, all that would escape from his lips was a soft, "Please."

Neither man noticed the two pairs of eyes watching them from the doorway, whispering back and forth, "Severus, what is it with you and Potters? First it's James who ditches you for Lily, and now it's their son who ditches you for mine. When are you actually going to find someone who won't ditch you?"

"When you finally agree to marry me Lucius. I knew Harry was in love with Draco from the start. It's actually quite obvious. I was merely trying to make the latter jealous. And I suppose it worked. But now I have to go through a divorce."

The two men in the room snickered happily, Draco whispered down in Harry's ear, "I told you he was probably sleeping with my father."

It was Harry's turn to roll his eyes at the man above him, "Yes, fine. You were right this time. But Dray, next time, can we not have sex in your fathers bed?"

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_**Max:** I hope you liked it! Please review darlins! (Huggles)_

_Lovies,_

_Mew Max (AKA: Mr. Max)_


	8. Handcuffs

**_Max:_**_ O_o I'm finally updating this drabble collection. lol I hope you guys like this one as well. I haven't written in a while so I think my writting skills have drained a tad. I do hope you like! Please read and review!  
**Warnings:** Yaoi! Handcuffs, Lucius/Harry/Severus, Prison. lol  
__**Disclaimer:** O_o I don't own. Sadly. Very sadly. BUT! I am working on a novel I hope to get published and then I WILL own something that hopefully people will like and write fanfics for. lol  
**Word Count:**_ _419_

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Cling, Clang. Cling, Clang. Clink, Clatter.

"Lucius Abraxas Malfoy! What the bloody hell have you done?!"

Silver-Grey eyes looked up into the brilliant green of his husbands, "Harold James Malfoy, might I suggest you lower your voice just a tad? I have been wrongfully imprisoned, these filthy muggles have no idea of whom they are dealing with. Would you please get me out of here?"

A gruff voice came from the dark back left corner of the muggle prison cell, "Lucius, settle down. You are being extremely loud. Harry, would you please just get. Us. Out. Of. Here?"

Harry's eyes widened dramatically, "You to Severus? Why did I only get a call about Lucius if you are here to? What is going on?"

Severus sent a menacing glare towards Harry, "Just get us out of here. We will discus what happened later, at home. Understood?"

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Harry sighed, his hands against his head, rubbing his temples, "Will the both of you please explain what got you put in jail?" there was a pause, "Now?!"

Lucius and Severus looked at each other before turning innocent eyes onto their younger husband, "It was his fault." they both said at the same time, "It is not!"

"You are the one that insisted on going 'bar hopping' in the muggle world Severus! That was nothing to do with me! If you hadn't insi-" Lucius began but was interrupted by a disgruntled Severus.

"My fault?! You are the one that practically molested me in the middle of the street! And you dare to blame this fault on me?! I will not tolerate this insolence! You WILL retract tha-" again, Severus was this time interrupted by a highly enraged young savior of the Wizarding World.

"SHUT UP!! Both of you! Honestly you are always telling me to stop acting like a child and here you both are!" Harry screamed as loud as he could, his fists balled at his sides, "You were both put in jail which means that you are both at fault! I honestly don't care who takes the blame! I simply wanted to know the reason for it! Now, if the both of you are finished, I have two pairs of handcuffs waiting in the bedroom. Join me soon. Or else."

Again, Lucius and Severus met with their eyes before quickly dashing up the grand staircase after their retreating young husband, "Wait for us Harry!" they both called out.

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_**Max:**__ I hope you guys liked it! Please review!  
**Lovies And Panda Huggies,  
Mr. Max**_


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